Saturday, August 7, 2010

Things Jasper has said

These are things Jasper Cornwallis has said to clients (people on the street while he is on duty) that are without context. This allows you to dream about the context of these quotes.

"Somebody wants to see boobies"

"Sir, if you give women enough to drink they will dance anywhere."

"You are so lucky I have a miserable dry cleaner who probably can't get bloodstains out of this uniform, sir."

"That's a good place on the pants to put their logo because that's where everybody's looking"

"Piss tests, sir. Piss tests"

"Miss, I didn't see anything and if I did you have nothing to worry about."

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Community Service Shorts: SW6

It's the end of the shift and Jasper and Duke wait in line to clock out.

Duke: How was your day?
Jasper: I was on SW6, how do you think it was?
Duke: Ummm I don't know. How was it?
Jasper: Wannabe artists who are creative with their hair and not with their love.
Duke: How do you know that?
Jasper: I know all too well?
Duke: Details, details, I want to know about her love.
Jasper: I was talking about myself, Duke.
Duke: You're not creative with your hair.
Jasper: I get it cut now. That's pretty fucking creative for me.
Duke: and the...
Jasper: Duke
Duke: Understood Mr. Cornwallis
Jasper: I'm glad somebody does.